She/Her/Them: Esther Sorkpor On What It Takes To Run An Online Community for Women
A peek into the She/Her/Them community for female medical students. By Precious Umeasalugo. Republished*
Last month, we published a piece titled Love and The Death of Third Places in CMUL, which dissected the romantic scene in the compound and what it means for our social life when there are no spots to hang out. But that's only one missing piece in this puzzle.Â
Like physical hangout spots and third places for students, we have another complex and acute lack: safe spaces. Safe spaces that allow you to express yourself, call out social issues in the compound with no fear of judgement, and make closer connections with classmates.Â
For acclaimed culture writer and spoken word artist Esther Sorkpor, the lack of safe spaces is a baffling problem. For women, it presents potentially sinister pitfalls, from rumors of sexual assault cases and unheard allegations to a chronic gatekeeping of female-related medical information. Thankfully, she's doing something about it.Â
Esther is one of the managers of She/Her/Them, an online community designed solely for women. The community, which boasts over 350 members from the College of Medicine, has grown extensively into a well-guarded safe space for female medical students to discuss hobbies, dissect viral tweets, and share tips for the growing woman.Â
As one of our profiles for this year's IWD celebrations, we spoke to Esther about her role in the community, inspiring inclusion in the compound, and what it takes to lead conversations many might shy away from. Get into it.Â
Q: Hi Esther! Thank you so much for taking the time to speak with us. We love your work, but for those who are not in the know, please tell us a bit about yourself and your role in the She/Her/Them community.
A: My name is Esther Sorkpor. I'm a 300-level physiotherapy student of CMUL, a writer, a spoken word artist, and one of the She/Her/Them community managers. I'm also an information junkie and a serial volunteer. For fun, I like to spend time with my friends, watch a good comedy show and read African literature.
Photo courtesy: Esther Sorkpor
Q: We've seen your tweets and watched your spoken word performances, and you are undeniably pro-women. What inspires your activism and love for women?
A: My drive to serve women is inspired by the fight against the systemic oppression of women. Our everyday struggles are against a world that doesn't serve us, from the alarming global rates of femicides to sexual assault on campuses to the casual misogyny in our classrooms. I want women to be free from these institutions that don't serve us.Â
Plus, I have always been surrounded by women. Coming from a family of three women and attending an all-girl secondary school, I've always been in love with women.
Q: How did She/Her/Them begin?Â
A: I saw a tweet from Ifeoluwa [one of the founders of She/Her/Them], saying she wanted the Twitter handles of CMUL women to create a Twitter community, and then I reached out. We talked and bonded over our shared passion for women.Â
I pitched the idea of a CMUL women's WhatsApp group to her, but we weren't sure how to create this community even then. Eventually, we reached out to other friends who also reached out to their friends in the coming weeks before the group was created on October 19th, 2023.Â
I and 9 other women created the She/Her/Them community:
* Ifeoluwa Olurinde -300 level (Pharmacy)
* Saheedat Afolabi -300 level (Physiotherapy)
* Jane Ogah -300 level (Pharmacy)Â
* Tamaratimi Kantu -300 level (Physiotherapy)
* Ibukun Grace Oreniyi -300 level (Physiotherapy)
* Jennifer Ugbodaga -300 level (Physiotherapy)Â
* Eniola Ajayi -300 level (Physiotherapy)Â
* Chioma Ndeche -400 level (MBBS)
* Kamsy Okeke -500 level (Pharmacy)
Q: Amazing. What are the best parts of running a community for students and women?
A: One of the best parts of running this community is being a part of the coming together of us girls. Sharing experiences and problems, listening, and trying to help solve them in the little ways we can --- it's beautiful to behold.Â
Another thing I really enjoy is having to do something this important and amazing with my friends, with people I absolutely adore.Â
Q: A community this important takes work. Could you share some of the challenges in running She/Her/Them with us?
A: First of all, low participation in group discussions is a major challenge. It can get tiring trying to get people to participate at times. Some people are content watching from afar and not actively saying anything, which makes it hard for us to grow as a community.Â
Something that has also been a problem (at the time of this interview) is getting the group back on the COMPSSA collective. When we had just started, the then social secretary added the group to the collective. However, for reasons never stated, it was removed when he became president, leaving the group out of the collective and thereby restricting the access of female COMPSSAites to the community.Â
There's also the confidentiality problem within the group, which makes people uncomfortable with sharing personal information.
Q: Women-focused communities can be lighthearted but can also be spaces for tabling complex and sensitive issues. How do you, as a community manager, navigate certain matters? Let's say a girl brings a triggering case to the group, asking for help?Â
A: In such cases, the other admins and I create a supportive environment by giving listening ears, being empathetic, respecting confidentiality, and vetting comments from other members of the community. We are consistently and constantly making efforts to put together as many resources as possible that will be helpful for CMUL women if the need arises. So when navigating sensitive issues, especially ones out of our reach, we have people we can point to for directions.
Q: At APSoUL, we always ask questions about mental health and wellness, especially among students. How do you maintain your mental while managing such a large community?Â
A: It hasn't affected my mental health so far. But if it does, we know to take breaks and let someone else take over. We are still navigating being a community, and I'm sure it'll get to a point where it'll be taxing, but for now, we're alright.
Q: Lastly, where do you see the community going in the next couple of months?
A: I see more women engaging in the group’s activities in the next couple of months. I see collaborations with organizations for women-inspired initiatives. I also see this community being instrumental in tackling sexual assault with its perpetrators on our campus.
Thank you so much, Esther, for honouring our safe space and sharing your answers with our community. You can find and connect with Esther on LinkedIn.
This feature and the opinions therein do not represent or reflect the stance or opinions of APSoUL or its parent body NIPSA UNILAG/APSUL.
ResourcesÂ
Lagos State Domestic and Sexual Violence Agency (LagosDSVA)
Call: +234 800 033 3333
Email: info@lagosdsva.org
Stand to End Rape (STER)
Call:Â +234 809 596 7000
Email: contactus@standtoendrape.org
Form: http://bit.ly/HarassmentSTERÂ
Mentally Aware Nigeria
Call: +234 809 111 6264, +234 811 168 0686
Website: www.mentallyaware.org
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mentallyawareng/Â
Mirabel Centre
Call: +234 817 627 5695
Website: www.mirabelcentre.org
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mirabelcentreng/Â
In The Lab
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