Love and The Death of Third Places in CMUL
What happens when there are no hangout spots on university grounds? And what does it mean for our collective dating experience? By Precious Umeasalugo*
Happy Valentine’s day to all who celebrate. This month, APSoUL will publish love-themed articles every week and is ending the season with the first issue of SPARK, NIPSA-UNILAG/APSUL Editorial’s digital magazine.
I started watching Friends two years ago. And while I have yet to get past the second season (curse my attention span), one thing stuck out to me while watching those 24 long, twenty-minute episodes: they had a hangout spot. It was called 'Central Perk Coffeehouse,' where some of the most pivotal scenes in Ross's, Monica's, and Rachel's lives were shot. Sure, they practically lived together and hung out at home, but they had a home away from home: the coffeehouse.
While watching those episodes, I thought about my own Central Perk Coffeehouse. And that's when I came to the dire realisation that I had none. But that wasn't always the case.
In fact, many of us had many Central Perk Coffeehouses before crossing over to CMUL. For me, it was the Love Garden right in front of the Faculty of Law, where I would meet up with my then-boyfriend and friends. For some of you, it could have been the Quadrangle, GT Bank's ornate waiting spot near the ATMs, or some other place that allowed you to sit and just… hang out.
In CMUL, the Central Perk Coffeehouses are a bit more… primitive. You have those strange stone monoliths that wrap around SON Field (I have no idea what they are for. Septic tanks?). You have the wooden benches in front of the Stella reading room (beware of falling geckos), the stone benches beside the FCMB ATM, and the basketball court in the block hostel complex.
You can see that that's an awfully short list of hangout spots, but I have a hunch on what your next question is about to be.
"Well, sure, we do not have a lot of hangout spots, but what do we need them for anyway?"
Okay, no one will ask that, but recreational spots are necessary for every sphere of your life, even your academics.
What is a third place in CMUL?
When I first got to CMUL, I knew no one other than my friends who were MBBS and Pharmacy students. I didn't even know my classmates. But I was eager to make new friends. So I spent my evenings walking the lengths of the compound, attending IMEDSA meetings where I met potential lovers, and watching beautiful men play basketball on the court. In that environment where I could walk around as freely as I wanted to, I managed to leave my introverted shell, meet people, and bond over the screams following a good basketball game. But all that came crashing down with the pandemic.
The term "third place" was coined by the American sociologist Ray Oldenburg, and it basically means "a space for informal, free social interaction"*. It's a space created solely for informal human interaction, away from work or school.
For many people and in many scenarios, these third places could be that coffeehouse in Friends, bars like in HIMYM, and even the Chibyverse party you attended last week. In our social scene, some third places are state-based associations like OGUMSA and IMEDSA or volunteer organisations like the Drug-Free Club or KB Klub.
However, outside of associations, where there are arguably no coffee shops, no bars, and maybe restaurants that are too choked up for any mingling, that leaves us with a more basic form of a third place: the hostels, the court, the common rooms, and right at the complex behind OPH.
The pandemic and CMUL's social scene
COVID's prime is four years behind us, but we’re still healing. At first, I found people being able to enter hostels for the opposite sex weird, but it made sense. It fostered friendships, unwelcome laughs in neighbouring rooms, a few too many truth-or-dare games, and perhaps a few relationships.
But after the pandemic, there was no way to do these things. Lovers moved to other spots, taking turns to sit on that old gas cylinder beside the anatomy lab. They also went on more walks, sitting on that cursed staircase in front of OPH and on the pavements that lead to the cooperative hostel. Friends sat on the bleachers of the court or the SON field and stayed there till later hours of the night, even with the mutterings from prayer warriors beside them. Cmul's third places were primitive, but they were effective.
Fast forward to 2024, the maybe-septic-tank-turned-chairs are becoming endangered as SON slowly closes its gates –or barricades them. The court has become a political battleground on ownership and alleged talks about who gets to make the rules. Oh, and that third place has also been barricaded. The stone benches beside FCMB used to be spots for premium passersby gossip. Now, thanks to the newly renovated guesthouse (coughs, capitalism), those history-rich benches are absent (at time of publish).
CMUL's prevailing message is "Read your books and go to your hostel".
CMUL does not do third place(s)
We may not have the words to fully explain it, but we feel our lack of third spaces every day. There are no spots to chill after a long day in classes or at the hospital, and you probably hesitate when inviting your friends over because you keep asking, "Where will this guy sit when he comes now?"
I believe our lack of third places also directly impacts the quality of romance in this school. The stairs in front of OPH can only do so much: mosquitoes are abundant, and it won't be long before you find five more couples sitting on different steps of the staircase, leaving no room for privacy or for that fight you have been itching for. Your conversations are cut short, and you may have quickies in the dark, but these experiences do not help consolidate your romantic relationship.
Our excessive walk-taking in CMUL is also a direct effect of a lack of third places. So if that boy asks you to walk round the compound for the fifth time this week, please do not be so hard on him.
What do we do about this?
I've had my short stint being welfare secretary, and while I didn't enjoy my time in an executive house, I see why people enjoy school politics. One of the times I thoroughly enjoyed school politics was during the manifesto in 2023, where both presidential candidates offered the promise of a few third places. There was the promise of a furnished quadrangle in OPH, a resto-lounge right by the food complex, and one more I can not recall for the life of me.
While the elections are over and real life has set in, I am hopeful in the promise of these third places.
Join an extracurricular and attend events
We lack physical third places, but we have many social ones in the compound. You could join a state-based one, attend a COMPSSA-hosted bonfire, or join a religious group like CMDA or MSSN. You can also explore health and advocacy-based clubs like the Drug-Free Club, or play sports weekly with the Volleyball team. This way, you get to meet people with shared interests, with less trial and error like you would experience with a physical spot.
Talk to your executive house
A lot is waiting to be fixed within the student body: perpetual power outages, budget issues, and the need for third places. I believe it's important to remind your leaders of your pressing needs, even those that are not as urgent as electricity issues. Remind them of their promises during the manifesto.
Sources
*This feature is an opinion piece of the above named writer and does not represent or reflect the views or opinions of APSoUL or it’s parent body NIPSA UNILAG/APSUL.
In The Lab
SPARK: The Woo Issue is almost here! The first love-themed issue of APSUL’s digital magazine features pieces from various writers, an essential playlist with music from APSUL’s foremost entertainers, and tips on dating in the compound. More info on the mag soon.
Dating in CMUL is hard enough, but dating your classmate? Next week’s letter features a spicy discourse on intracourse dating. Subscribe now so you do not miss it.